My Crew

My crew does't do bounty jobs. Mostly, that is.

Since we did our own share of smuggling, looting and all kinds of bad stuff, it's much harder to just shoot some poor bastard, coz' they told you he was a "criminal". Also, it can bite you in the hinds. You off a sucker and his wife or his boss or hell knows who finds out. And suddenly you got a whole lot of new shit to worry about.

That's why we stay out of people hunting. But, of course, there were some exceptions. There was this sick fuck, Rudi Chang, who torched a shuttle full of kids on a trip. I mean... Yeah, we're a pack of tough ass-kickin', gun-totin', tobaco-spittin', eyepatch-wearing space pirates. You bet your nuts on that. But there's shit you just don't do.

We hunted this scumbag for two weeks. Turned out fucker was planning ahead. Can you believe that? He actually planned how he's gonna burn a shuttle full of kids and get away with it. It wasn't some snapped war vet or a lunatic who got access to phosphor charges. For this guy, it was sport.

He was slippery and every time we got closer, he just vanished. And boy, was that son of a cunt prepared! Fake IDs, spacecraft waiting for him in the unlikeliest places, jammers just placed in the middle of nowhere - "incidentally" jamming us when we were on his tail...

I don't approve any of what this fucker did, but I gotta give it to him - he was smart.

In the end, we lost his trail. Yeah. It all just went cold and we got stuck at Bahra Station, sitting with our thumbs up our asses, just waiting on the comms to hear if anyone out there saw him or the spacecraft he was in. We already knew he was gone. He must have just swapped that transport shuttle for a tourist bus or garbage collector or fuck knows what and swooshed out of there like an elevator fart.

So after few days we decided that we pack up and take off for Swin Tze. Maggie didn't wanna. He freaked out like he was a fucking avenger beast or something. Oh, right - yeah, Maggie is a guy. He's the biggest hunk of meat I've ever seen. Not the brightest, but a really good security. And a big fuzzy teddy bear when it comes to kids, obviously. Jazz had to dart him with nighty-nights, so that we could haul him onto a trolley and get going.

Jazz is another fucked up soul in my herd. She's twelve or something like that. No, seriously, that skanky hot pice of ass with the manners of a Zimmertown hooker over there is actually a little kid. See, when she was this young, her parents got into an accident and they nearly killed their kid. She got mashed like a fucking potato and just because the old man had the cash, they could save what was left of her. And it wasn't much. A piece of a limb here, some tissue there... Don't ask me the details, but what they could salvage out of that bloody pulp was a pice of her brain. So paps paid for the prosthetics (no, that wasn't the model she's been wearing lately) and Jazz came back from the dead. Obviously, she got to keep that part of the brain that is important if you want to function. It's just not the part responsible for growing up. You know, mentally. Kid's stuck right at the start of her puberty. You ask me, that's the definition of hell.

For us.

Now, where was I... Right, that kid-frying asshole. As I said, this fuck planned for everything, except one thing. As it turned out later, his buddy on Kessler Orbit, who was supposed to give him permit papers for Hub 9 Colony, got knifed in a bar fight. So Rudi Chang had to get those papers elsewhere. Who would have thought his next contact was on Swin Tze? Maggie and Chase bumped into him at this Vaurian place. Rudi tried to leg it but Chase tackled him. The moment fucker knew he was done, he started crying and weeping and promising all heavens if we let him go and all hell if we don´t. Even as we were handing him over to the marshalls, this asswipe was screaming at us that his big bad brother, this powerful media figure, he´s gonna get us all tortured to death and shit. Funny thing is, it was his brother who was paying the bounty. Chase even started to laugh at that one.

Oh, Chase. He's a real dick. He thinks he's better than everyone. Fucking army boy. But yeah, he got this guy and he sure is a fine pilot. He got us out of some tight spots and all.

Still...

How can you trust a guy with a haricut like this?